The recent story to hit the news about a woman going to Japan only to return to admit she'd realized she never really wanted to be a mother to her then 3 & 5 year old boys was appalling to say the least. You can watch her story here.
While I thought her story to be sickening (my stomach literally turned as I watched the video), I also thought about how each of us are like her. If it were not FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, we mothers would go chasing after things outside our homes that would potentially result in making us just like this woman. We certainly have it in us as fallen creatures, don't we?
I can't tell you how many times I've attempted to pursue some activity outside the home, (even seemingly "godly" ones), that the Lord would ever-so-gently lead me back to home & lovingly point out each of my sweet, precious ones, showing me how much more important they are than anything else. Even this blog of mine could keep me away from their everyday needs of nurturing. I have to discipline myself to do this when they or my husband are not needing my immediate, full attention. Otherwise, I could turn it into an activity that would pull me away from my God-given duty & role of being a wife & mother.
When I held my first-born child in my arms, the love I felt in my heart was something I never knew I was capable of containing! It was so amazingly overwhelming, I felt like I was going to burst! With each child came that same intense, protective, fierce, momma-bear love. I just can't imagine my life with out any of them! Through it all, God is the ultimate source of that blessing IMMENSE love. He is the ultimate source of this wonderful family I've been blessed to have. He has carefully taught me how to find FULFILLMENT & JOY in being a wife & mother for the purpose of glorifying HIM, not myself. In fact, whenever I tried to live for "myself", it only brought frustration, sadness & grief.
I praise Him for guiding me each day in showing me my sinfulness & that the only REAL way to "finding myself" is through obedience to His Holy Word. If it were not for HIM & HIS WORD, I would be just like that woman in the story. I am no different than any other sinful person out in the world. EXCEPT that God has saved me by GRACE, through FAITH--and that (faith) NOT of myself...it is a GIFT FROM HIM, not as a result of something I've done (because I can't do ANYTHING to earn that gift!), so that I should not boast! If I could earn His gift, it wouldn't be grace (unmerited favor) anymore!
3.10.2011
From the Heart...the healing of my marriage
This was an article that I wrote almost 10 years ago, for the magazine ‘Crowned With Silver’, January/February, 2002 issue. I just thought I would write it up and post it here on RITR. Please let me know your thoughts.
Only ten years ago I would have thought Crowned With Silver was ‘behind the time’ and ‘too old-fashioned’ for my ‘tastes’. Now, however, I find it as a source of nurturing to my God-given feminine role as wife and mother!
When I married my husband 12 years ago, I had no idea what marriage was about. I didn’t know that you each came in with an individual role. I had absolutely no desire to have children as that would ruin my figure too much. I contemplated divorce after only six months of marriage but knew that this was not God’s will for marriage.
I even began to plan ways, in my head, of how I could divorce ‘biblically’ so that I’d be free to remarry! What utter wickedness!! Every time I tried to devise a plan, the Holy Spirit would remind me of my wickedness and cause me to see how utterly unfaithful I was being to the man I vowed to stay married to no matter what!
Even though, at the time, I would never have considered myself a feminist, my world view had certainly been influenced enough to think like one. I needed help!!! I went to counseling; the counselor only listened and got paid with no real input. I spoke to many of my trusted girl friends who encouraged me to divorce since I wasn’t happy. But the Holy Spirit’s urging was much more compelling than all the wicked, shallow advice I received.
After consistently hearing the Word of God taught and preached, the Lord slowly and carefully began to show me areas in my life that needed some major changing in order to restore my marriage. He caused me to remember testimonies I had heard of broken, seemingly hopeless marriages that God miraculously pieced back together, therefore, confirming to me that He WAS able to restore MY marriage.
He showed me how dominating I was; how I constantly tried to overthrow my husband’s role as head. He showed me how important it was to surround myself with godly women who were not afraid to tell me what I didn’t want to hear. He showed me how I needed to pray continually for my husband and how in those prayers, that I needed to show genuine thankfulness and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for having given me a husband at all!
Finally, and most importantly, He showed me how I needed to find out from His HOLY WORD what marriage was exactly…how He designed it; what were our roles, how I was to submit to my husband’s headship, etc.
He is so gracious and faithful in restoring marriages to anyone that trusts Him and obeys.
All too often, the world does so well to paint pictures of marriages that are ‘perfect’ and that live ‘happily ever after’, yet God’s intention for marriages is one to teach us submission; to serve on another; showing us our individual faults; disagreeing but at the same time accepting each other’s views graciously; dying to ourselves daily for God’s glory and honor; working hard towards loving each other even under the most difficult circumstances. This is all very hard work! Only when we take this challenge of hard work and willingly obey our Father’s instructions do we see the most beautiful, wonderful union take place.
Four years into our marriage, the Lord blessed us with our first child and now I am pregnant with our fourth! We are excited to see where He will take us in this journey of marriage. We have certainly not arrived. Every day, new challenges occur that are sent our way to teach us something. The most joyful thing about those challenges is that they are sent by a loving, caring Father who knows that we learn best by trials.
‘…Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.’
James 1:2-4
So, I would encourage you to persevere, to love your husbands, love your children, pray for them, find out ways to encourage your husband, show him that you are thankful that God put you together in this life. Keep a watchful eye on your motives; don’t expect anything in return. When you have had bad thoughts about your husband, make a list of things you are thankful for about him. God will honor your efforts with blessings beyond comprehension. He can restore any marriage; no challenge is too difficult for His infinite power.
Finally, I am enclosing a booklet on modesty that has tremendously changed my outlook on what we wear as Christians. Many times Christians think that our modern way of dressing has no relevance to the attitude in our heart and that anyone who confronts this issue is only being legalistic. Our outward appearance reflects our heart’s appearance. Please read this booklet thoroughly and if allowed, I’d like to make it available free of charge to anyone who would not be afraid to be utterly challenged on this issue. This is something that MUST be confronted in the church today.
All glory, honor and power be His,
Mrs. T.
3.09.2011
Asking for forgiveness
Today, I read an article by well-known Christian author, Stacy McDonald found here on her blog about saying "I'm sorry". It made me think of how my husband & I have learned to teach our children to ask for forgiveness rather than say, "I'm sorry". Here is why...
It's so easy to just say "I'm sorry" & seemingly be "let off the hook", like Stacy explains so well in her article. When you think about it, it's much harder to ask for forgiveness from the offended party. This helps make it a 2-way response to the offense. As much as the offender must ask for forgiveness, it is also just as important that the offended must forgive the offender. When we just say, "I'm sorry", the offended person is not really given the opportunity to respond. The usual response is, "that's okay"...but, is it really? Of course it isn't. So, asking for forgiveness involves BOTH parties to acknowledge the offense AND offers an opportunity for genuine reconciliation, which is really the goal of all those involved.
I really like how she put together the list of how NOT to ask for forgiveness and especially the 5 statements of how to come to the offended, making sure you have taken the plank out of your own eye!
It is so helpful to review all of this because we are all so prone to offend others each & every day. Praise be to God the Father for sending His Son to be the ultimate example of forgiveness! Thank you Jesus!
It's so easy to just say "I'm sorry" & seemingly be "let off the hook", like Stacy explains so well in her article. When you think about it, it's much harder to ask for forgiveness from the offended party. This helps make it a 2-way response to the offense. As much as the offender must ask for forgiveness, it is also just as important that the offended must forgive the offender. When we just say, "I'm sorry", the offended person is not really given the opportunity to respond. The usual response is, "that's okay"...but, is it really? Of course it isn't. So, asking for forgiveness involves BOTH parties to acknowledge the offense AND offers an opportunity for genuine reconciliation, which is really the goal of all those involved.
I really like how she put together the list of how NOT to ask for forgiveness and especially the 5 statements of how to come to the offended, making sure you have taken the plank out of your own eye!
It is so helpful to review all of this because we are all so prone to offend others each & every day. Praise be to God the Father for sending His Son to be the ultimate example of forgiveness! Thank you Jesus!
3.03.2011
White as snow!
As I look at my windows, there is still a beautiful blanket of white snow covering every nook & cranny. We recently had 3 days straight of non-stop snow that left a 13" thick blanket! The children had a wonderful time building a 6' snowman & sledding down our hill in the new sleds that their dear Papa bought them! Sadly, it's all slowly melting now since the temperatures have consistently risen above freezing, but there's still enough out there that is all so beautiful to look at! I'm reminded of the old hymn, "Nothing But the Blood" which states: "O precious is the flow that makes me WHITE AS SNOW." I am humbly reminded that God my Father sees me so clean, all because of what my Savior did for me!!! What a thought! Thank you, Jesus!!!
Here are the rest of the words of that beautiful, old hymn...
"What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
(Refrain): O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my cleansing this I see--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my pardon this my plea--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
(Refrain): O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Nothing can for sin atone--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done--Nothing but blood of Jesus;
(Refrain): O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my hope and peace--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
(Refrain): O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Now by this I'll overcome--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Now by this I'll reach my home--Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
(Refrain): O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
AMEN!!!